Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Screaming To Stop...

Oh My God. I need help! I thought I could do this by myself and with a bit of thinspiration and stuff, but I cant :/ its so hard when everyone I love is against this lifestyle... I don't know where to turn or what to do, I feel like every time I pass a mirror everything inside me is just going to scream at me to just stop living! Its Torture! I could cry, I'm just so...Huge -.- And it doesn't help that everyone lies to me, "Oh yeah, you're gorgeous, you aren't fat, you shouldn't change a thing" Yeah, right, go fuck yourselves liars. How DARE you comment on my past compulsive liar-ness and then go and do it right in front of me! I thought you guys wanted me to be okay? Well, I can't be okay with who I am now. I can't do it. Its wrong. I'm F.A.T. I cringe at myself sometimes, completely cringe at my reflection, my webcam image, my thoughts. Its all disgusting. I won't fit into a prom dress at this rate! I won't fit into a bridesmaids dress either. Hell, I won't fit into my clothes! I just want to go jump off a bridge somewhere, or just overdose, some painful death that will show me the error of my ways! I'm disgusting, I'm worthless and its no wonder my father left me. Sorry, for ranting, but somebody's got to understand how I feel on here!? right? Can't Anybody help me, I was doing so well, and then, BAM all my hard work was gone :/ Love you guys <3
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4 comments:

  1. Depressed Skinny Mess.25 October 2011 at 16:21

    I know EXACTLY how you feel, like you can't turn to anybody because they will think wrong of you and the way you live your life, but remember it's YOUR life, and you can live it whichever way you want to :) You have tons of support on here xx

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  2. tori-maki25 October 2011 at 16:41

    Honey, I teared up a little bit when I read this. Because what you said pretty much describes exactly how I feel. You articulated it beautifully. For everything else, there's someone you can always talk to, but this? Say something and you're screwed.

    Just know that you can always come here, that's what these little havens are for <3

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  3. Jayne25 October 2011 at 17:56

    I feel exactly the same way.

    It feels sometimes like everyone is working against me. I keep vowing to stay in control, and I keep failing miserably.

    You're not alone, love. Just keep coming back here. Tomorrow is a new day. Someday, we'll find what we're looking for.

    <3
    Jayne

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  4. Anonymous26 October 2011 at 00:49

    You just pretty much described how I feel. It's like everybody thinks they know better what you need and they just don't seem to understand that they're making you unhappy.
    But you're not alone. You can always find support here <3

    ReplyDelete

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