That promise was meant to be broken as soon as I once again became a fuck up.

I absolutely adore having some sort of purpose in my life, even if it is just ABC. Yes my children, I am once again embarking on the quest to finish the ABC diet. Wish me luck? I won't need it though, because this time, I have something not many people are lucky enough to have, the support of my best friend, and that isn't something I'd trade for anything. With her support I can pretty much succeed in life. I always find its easier to stick to when you have the support of someone close to you, like the first time I tried it, if it wasn't for the unfortunate circumstances that surrounded me and my best friend at the time then we would've probably finished it...I'm feeling generally crap at the moment, cutting more frequently, more thoughts of the suicidal kind, an increasing need to take pills again. By crap I do mean like pretty much 0.2 on the scale, however, when I feel at my worst, I'm always fucking amazing at hiding it. I smiled for an hour straight today, a whole hour without and stops, Achievement right there. Yes, granted I fell asleep for 3 hours on some lads crotch after that but still, a whole hour without going depressive on people at all, that has to me by new record or something...Surely? I found someone today who can supply me any kind of pills I want, he can even get me acid if I want it, gosh I adore college. I know I promised (Fire) to try and stop taking the drugs, but I haven't seen her in weeks, she doesn't seem to be particularly bothered with me, I'm sure she wouldn't mind if I just took a few...Besides, I'm sure she feels like I'm totally beyond help now anyway, a waste of space, that I shouldn't be bothered with because I'm doomed, so I may as well live up to that and just do what a fuck up is supposed to...Bye my Angels <3