Honey please, you were Not looking.

'I couldn't keep my eyes off of you' 'Honey, I was looking, and your eyes were not on me. Don't lie' I don't know why they would've even wanted to glance my way because the pill is making me fat. I don't care what anyone says 'oh no its not, you're nice and thin' NO I'M FUCKING NOT. Its one of the side effects it can have, I checked, I also have itchy skin, headaches and dizziness. I know its making me fat. I hate it. No matter how hard I worked before, I have to work even harder now, I have like a disgusting pouch on my belly because I'm so fat. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I also had the joy of explaining to my teacher that because I dislike people judging me, if she made me so a role-play piece in front of the class, I'd have a bit of a crying-breakdown. She was Thrilled to hear about another thing I cannot do due to some sort of fucked up brain. Just thrilled. There's been OCD problems, anxiety issues and now phobia's I cant overcome...She adores me, I can tell. I mean, that look that tries to disguise the scowl creeping onto her face just proves to me she wants me in her class so much.
 I'm really trying my hardest to avoid everyone and everything right now, probably because I've gone into my darker stages of life...I mean, It got so bad yesterday that I purged in the college bathroom, with no regard for safety or secrecy, I wasn't thinking about the imminent question 'what if I get caught?' No, I just went right ahead and did it, because I'm an idiot, then a girl came in and asked if I was okay and I was like...'Yeah, I'm fine, I must have just eaten some bad food or something' and she was trying to take me to the student managery people and I was like 'nono really I'm okay' I knew if they took one look at me in there for throwing up in the bathroom they'd know it wasn't illness, so I ran away from the girl...Not my smartest move but it stopped the danger for a while.
 I'm supposed to be trying to stop cutting, considering I cut again tonight, I don't think that's going too well for me. I don't actually think anything's going well for me at the moment, as tragic as that sounds, in fact this whole post sounds like I'm self-obsessed to the max but actually right now, I'm just getting everything out gosh-darn the consequences of telling you, because I don't think you'll judge me...Bye my Angels <3