Just a taste of what you've paid for...

Its funny isn't it, how the word 'just' added to the front of something can make it sound innocent and small... "she's Just a girl" "its Just chippy" "its Just one bite, if cant do any damage" I'm trying to stop using that word, because its a great persuader, it makes me think that eating food isn't that bad... because its Just 133 calories. Eugh. I suppose looking after my sister today will help me loose weight, even if it is just a pound or two, but she's a lazy fat child, who doesn't do much herself and I'm left looking after her, I've noticed that if people read this blog and had a feeling it was me, the names I use on it would be a big give away, so I'm going to start using fake names, for my own protection ;D It sounds stupid but I cannot fathom what I would do if this blog and all you great people were taken away from me... It would be so much worse than last time. Like being asked to kill a baby or something equally as sadistic. And its unnaturally warm around this little town right now, I just keep thinking I wouldn't be so hot if it wasn't for all these unwanted fat layers that have built up. All that blubber and crap that's insulating me -.- Then I creep myself out. I've had to put back on some weight because my mother took me to the doctor's for my asthma check-up and the nurse said that I had lost a considerable amount of weight since she last saw me, and that it would be healthy if I went back up to 135 pounds, so I did because my mother was watching me like a hawk, now she thinks that I'm back to normal with my eating habits and I can get my weight back off. I feel ill every time I look at the scales though, its like a little part of me just dies every time I see that colossal weight staring back at me... How fat people do it I shall never know! Its officially August now though, and in 8 days I go on holiday, :) but that also meant that I only have 4-5 weeks left until I go back to school! I need to get this weight off by then. I have to. I would be failing myself if I didn't. And I'd be failing everyone else, No one wants to see a fat person on their first day back, and I don't want to be the fat person that brings everyone's day down...Would you?!  I didn't think so. Stay Strong <3