Wednesday, 17 August 2011
Darkness suits me well you say?
Imagine reading yesterdays blog post and realising it didn't really make that much sense and wasn't really that much inspiration for anyone including yourself -.- It was more like a brag about a holiday that wasn't as good as I made it out to be... So for that I'm sorry, I'm not in the best of places right now, depressing thoughts keep finding ways to form cracks in my tightly built walls and make me doubt anything, I'm not depressed though many adults try to tell me I am, I just... Think things over too much which irritates me and causes me to get angry and sad and shit, but anyway, I just don't know what I'm going to do with myself lately, and then there's this whole pregnancy scare thing that's making its way around my mind, its a stupid thought I know, but if I think about it, it's actually possible. I'm just so scared right now. What was I thinking drinking that much and going back to that lads room, wait, I wasn't thinking, that's the point ¬_¬ and now there's just this big lot of guilt and angst... What am I going to do darling's? Do any of you have ideas? I really need help at the moment, and there is no one I can turn to, only this blog and you people... I don't know what I'm doing and everything just seems to be multiplying into this insurmountable regret. Gahh, stupid Alex, stop rambling on about it xD Sorry, went a bit depressing there for a second but I'm back now... For a while anyway :) I did miss not posting to all of you last week, it sounds like a silly thing to say, I went on holiday I should have been happy and not caring, but, I don't know, this blog is more of a help to me than a holiday with family yelling at each other will ever be. I thank you for that and because right now I'm in a poetry writing mood I shall bid you adieu, <3
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You really don't need to say sorry for yesterdays post. This is your blog and you can say what ever you want :)
ReplyDeleteThe pregnancy scare is horrid, but you should try to relax even if its hard- you can actually get more "late" if you stress.
Don't feel guilty for making your holiday sound good! Haha :P
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about thinking too much, I think too much too and then get upset :P so just know you're not alone on that front :)
As far as pregnancy goes, are you able to get hold of a test? Because I think if you are you should just take one to find out for sure and then you will either be able to relax or be able to work out what you are going to do :) we all make mistakes, but what's done is done and it might not come to anything, so try not to worry too much :)
I don't think you're silly for missing blogger, I do it too! Or maybe we are both silly :P
Lottie x
-.- I'm trying to relax but it is a little difficult, and i cannot get hold of a pregnancy test for another week or two its only been a few days yet, and i know you can get ones for early days but id rather wait for a few more and get a better reading if that makes sense xD? And lottie, you are always going to be silly ;D you bother to write and help me out on this blog, that makes you silly, but thats why you're amazing :') <3 x
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