Stop overdoing it...

Oh the joys of being an honest person who has to apologise for everything she's done... Why do I have to be this nice to people, why do I think that people need an apology even if they don't know what I've done?! And why do I always end up crying on my English teacher -.- ?! I think she's just too nice, like Waaay to nice, it throws me off guard or something, like I literally have on idea what to do when she's nice, and because she's nice, I cry. Not being used to nice-ness sucks. I know I've said this all before, but whatever. You're here to listen to me moan ;D But yeah, I went up to English at dinner because I hadn't done my homework, and I stayed behind asking if she could contact Mrs Derrett for me ( a counsellor that I prefer more than the schools designated one) and she was like "Yeah, sure, are you okay though, sit down and wait for me to finish with these people and we'll have a talk" So I did and I almost got to the part in my story where Ana has inhabited her body, so every time she's nice I hear terrible things, and I have to jump around her to know whether its her I'm talking to, or Ana... When the head of the child protection and wellbeing comes to fetch me. Miss O'Mullane had called her because of the scratches on my arm. That's one of my nervous tendencies you see I scratch without knowing it, and when people point it out I'm like "Oh, how'd that get there" and they're like "You just scratched it on your arm, didn't you feel it, couldn't you realise" and of course my only answer is no, because I Don't know I'm doing it. So she called this Mrs Fae, (I think that's how you spell her name, I don't care if it isn't.) And now people are pussy-footing about me again, afraid that if they talk to me wrongly that I'll go crazy and kill myself. I only went up to apologise to Miss. So look where that got me. Never be like me and apologise to anyone for anything. It just gets you in shit. But after school me and my friend *Amalie were talking about religion and shizzz, and she's a hardcore Christian... Yet she had questions to ask about my Wicca... It was nice to be able to relate to her like that... We haven't been able to have one of those talks for such a long time, I mean she knows some of the things that go on, I tell her some of the things, but I can't tell her everything, I'd look all... Weak and insecure and stuff, and somehow I don't want to be like that, I mean all my walls are tumbling down because of Ana but I don't want to be that silly girl that wants everyone to pity her. I hate pity. I don't like crying because it leads to pity, and pity is the most disgusting emotion in the world... And now I have to go, I've been grounded again so I have to do all my exercise inside and all my homework still needs to be done... Love you guys <3