My first fine of the day...

Well, today was the first day back at school. And I can't tell you how irritating it was. First things first. My mother took pictures of me and my sister in the uniforms, and I looked like a right fat cow. Like fat face and everything... And then it was like torrentially raining, my umbrella was like leaking and it wasn't doing anything to keep me dry, its times like those that I wish I could Stand wearing a coat. So I get to school looking like a drowned rat, then literally three steps into the school and a student manager collars me and tells me she needs to talk to me and asks me if I was okay. I mean really?! Why would you bring up scars of the past (Literally) three steps into the first school day? So it didn't start too well, and then me and a friend... (Lets call her Bertha) so me and Bertha, we find out that our tutor has been moved so we had to go and find out where our new room was and they only gave us a number, well if anyone of you're like me and Bertha, we just go by the names of the lessons taught in that block of building, like "English" or "Languages" so of course we still had to run around trying to find room 25. Turns out its the old retard room. (Sorry, that's a little harsh, the old "Differently-abled people's room") Then I was told to take off my nail varnish. Again if any of you are like me, I hate taking off my nail varnish. I actually despise using acid on my nails to take off something that makes nails look far prettier. And it was red, so I walked around with red fingers all day because I had to take it off quickly. Not a good start to the day being a drowned rat. Then just as I was starting to get dry-ish we had to go for an assembly. So we all sat through half an hour of the same stuff they told us last year, only with a few different pictures on the board at the front. It was boring. I got my grades from those exams I did a while back today though. I got an A in Biology (somehow) a C in Chemistry (decent enough, we had a crap teacher) a D in Physics ( Who likes Physics anyway, that's a respectable grade for me in that particular subject xD) a C in Maths, an A in one English test and an A* in the other. I was pretty happy with those to be frank. I don't care how lousy they are. I actually bet my friend I would get asked around three times "How I was" << Pointedly obvious hidden meaning... "Are you feeling suicidal or depressed in any way that might get us into trouble" It got irritating really, I'm not really going to tell them if I feel crap, I just sit there and act all nonchalant and widen my eyes so they think I really don't care or don't understand. Its pathetic how little people actually care, if they were really bothered they would be able to spot signs or something, they would be checking things over with me, not just letting me go when I bat my eyelashes... I forgot how easy it was to just eat at that school, I forgot the pressure at dinner times when everyone around you is eating and you're in this little confined space with them. It was so difficult and I just came home and binged with a capital B. I feel terrible now and it was too badly raining that my mother wouldn't let me go for a walk Or a run with my dog, I was just left to my own devices inside this house, I can tell you, 450 crunches and 250 push-ups just to punish yourself for not running home really hurts when you don't have many muscles in your arms and are as fat as I am. I actually just want to cry right now. I have to get me some sharpeners soon. All this not being able to punish myself is killing me! I don't know how long I'm going to be able to take this... And I have to wait until the 15th before I get ANY money. Even though I spent my last months' spends on a new school bag because the old one I had was literally falling apart. I have to go and drown myself now, my shower is good for something after all... <3