Saturday, 2 June 2012

Not a chance in hell they'll stop

You know those moods where you're perfectly happy and fine and everything seems to be going right so you're all hyper? Yeah, I wish I could be in one of those moods right now. But I'm not, I'm in a severely irritated, come-near-me-and-die-mood, and I have been since thursday. Because of (Irrit). Its great that someone who is supposed to help me can make me feel so shit. That's when you know they're definitely doing their job right huh? When you feel like crap they must have gotten inside your head just that little bit too much and played  around with everything in there so much. Which means essentially they are doing their job, or so I like to believe anyway. My mother is being really irritating today though, she won't leave me alone and she won't let me revise or do the things I'm Supposed to be doing with my time off because she wants things done round the house, or she wants a coffee made for her, even though I'm upstairs and she's in the kitchen. Or she wants the room tidied because my sister messed it up, or the beds stripped and changed, because she didn't do that like 4 days ago or anything. I'm getting no peace, its like today is 'Piss ~X~ off to the point she doesn't know whether she's going to snap and kill the next person she sees, or break down, or even run away.' I just wanted peace for the day. That's all I asked for, peace to revise and learn things I need to know for my exams. But that's asking too much apparently. Eugh. I'm going to die in this house, its so claustrophobic and its like a bull seeing red to me, its aggravating me so much I don't know what to do about it. And of course, I cant go out for a walk, because I need to revise so my mother has me practically on house arrest. I'm going crazy. The ribbons (voices in most peoples heads) have come back again. Stronger and Louder and more Painful to listen to/watch behind my eyelids. Every syllable, every word, its more pain. Every time they feel the need to comment on something, its like an aneurysm. I thought I'd kicked them for good last time I suppressed them, but obviously not huh? Ah well, I'll live and stuff, I just hope they calm down a bit, they like taking over things at the moment, saying things that they're thinking as opposed to what I need to say to keep people happy -.- Its problematic to say the least...Well, I'm off, bye <3



2 comments:

  1. I am responding late due to my killer headache yesterday and it still freakin here mother of god.

    Anyway I know what you mean. I am trying not to stay in such a bad mood but it is hard right now. Sometimes I wonder if mom's have the vision to see when you are annoyed and tries to keep pushing buttons. I dunnno.

    I hope you are feeling much better today. I am off to work and will try to snap at customers.

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  2. Being home is always a battle, claustrophobia is a constant companion. You feel like a fucking caged animal and are ready to lash out at anyone and everyone.

    I hope you reach that hyper state of happiness soon, stay strong <3

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