Just Shut Up.

I may have gone a bit crazy yesterday, I don't regret it, but...It may have been a little uncalled for. Maybe. I don't know, tell me what you think...
So yesterday was my last full day at school and I wanted to stay in it with my friends and have some time with them. I also had a mountain of IT work to do, so I couldn't afford to go and see le counsellor (he is going back to the name Irrit, as I can remember that.) I called and told them I couldn't make it. And I gets a call like 15 minutes later for (Irrit) asking me what was going on and what was going to happen to our meetings etc. I just thought to myself "Shut the fuck up. I don't need more change right now, I don't want to make these decisions and I'm not in the mood for talking to anyone right now, especially adult males." And as the conversation continued much the same way, him asking questions, me answering with my own questions or 'I don't knows' I got more and more aggravated. All these people are trying to control my life and what I do and what goes on, but they're trying to do it in such a way that it Looks like I am. And then all these teachers were telling me to put my phone away and I was like "I'm Talking To A Fucking Counsellor, Leave Me Alone Or I'll Have Another Breakdown." Every adult was intent on getting on my nerves and pushing my buttons to see how much I could take before I snapped...And I did snap. At (Irrit) He just kept going On and On and ON! I didn't go to my meeting to have a dinner time with my friends for the last time, and he took it from me anyway. He just took it from me because he wanted to. So I lashed out, but I think personally I was well within my rights to, I know it sounds like I was being a cow, but I wasn't. (Well, maybe a little bit. But whatever.) I think adults do these things on purpose, I mean they all make plans to hurt and irritate ~X~ on the same week just to watch her cry. Well that's what happened. After that conversation, I cried, I cried and I cried some more, I ran from teachers trying to help me, because they were adults and they'd just do something to hurt me, and I just ran up to the little corner of the English department and cried some more. I always run to English when I get upset...Its comforting or something, being close to a whole load of books, and I know I'll get peace there. So I don't know what's going to happen when (Fire) gets back off the holiday time she's having, because he's going to call her apparently, (I yelled at him to call her because I didn't want to have the responsibility of deciding what the fuck happens next along with all the other responsibility I have at the moment) I don't want her to be mad at me for flipping my lid, I just...Lost it, he kept saying things my father would say to me. And it got me madder and madder and more emotional by the second. I hope she isn't mad at me, I'd understand if she was, but I'd just prefer it if I could have One adult in the world that doesn't want to hate me/cause me pain. That'd be nice. I'm currently drinking. How fun is that?! Drinking and cutting don't mix however because you're really fearless with the blade, it doesn't hurt as much, so I have to be really careful with how deep I go. Have a good friday night guys, <3