It always leaves me wanting more...

Ew, Binging. That word itself makes me want to hurl. And unfortunately, for the past week or two, that's ALL I've been doing, just binging, I didn't even realise my body could eat this much! And its not just every now and again, oh no, that would be too simple for me. Its a full on urge to binge every time I come within like 500 metres of food. I cant stop it, I'm getting fatter, I'm getting huger and there's nothing I can do about it, my body is punishing me for crying on one of my counsellors a few weeks back. It hates me and wants me to suffer...That's how I'm taking it anyway, I'm exercising at any given moment I can and I'm actually considering going back to my purging ways...I never really got into purging, I wasn't big on it, I figured I could just like starve myself instead and then there wouldn't be a need to purge, but that doesn't work anymore, because where food's concerned, my brain doesn't get a say. Do I purge again, or don't I? I'm at a really big crossroad here and your opinions are valid and will probably be the difference between a do or don't...Let me know? <3