Mental Health Evaluation...

Yeah, that was what my day consisted of, it was a three part evaluation day, two parts school. Literally, three of my lessons today were in these evaluations and two of them weren't... I think I worded that really well then ;D The first lesson I got out of was maths... Yep, I loved that, I hate Trigonometry at the best of times, but today I just really didn't want it... I just felt tired and drained today, I didn't sleep last night, but then I haven't really been sleeping more than three hours a week, it sucks but I deal with it. So yeah, Maths. I sit there thinking, I really don't want to do this, then the office runner comes round with a note and whenever one of those notes comes round I always beg to myself for it not to be for me... Most of them are for me, to meet one of my counsellors or something.So yeah, this note comes and I sit there thinking, here we go again. I get called out of my lesson to meet this counsellor I usually meet, and she tells me that these two specialists are coming in to psycho-analyse me. And I'm sitting there thinking, shit. More people are going to want me to talk to them about myself, more people are going to sit there and want me to moan at them... And then we talked about the holiday, and all the time through my next lesson and my dinner I'm worrying about this meeting with these people, what if they think I'm overreacting or that I'm being silly or something? What will I do then? Will they laugh at me and my story, my view of things? I couldn't bare being laughed at. And then after dinner, I go and sit in reception, hiding my face and waiting for these two people and my counsellor to appear and analyse me and my words and body language and such. They walk right past me, I do a good job at blending in and becoming invisible... Right, now, one of these two new people, was obese, like amazingly so, how was I supposed to sit in a room with an obese person and be expected to talk to her and not look at her disgusted at how badly she's screwed up her body? And the other person, she was untrustworthy, I think I've told you guys before that I'm a really good judge of character, I mean really good, I can look at someone and decide whether or not I should trust them. Well this other woman wasn't to be trusted. She was... I don't even know, she gave me the heeby-jeebies. And my counsellor expected me to Talk to this woman, to tell her all my secrets, to cooperate! Pssht. Not a chance am I going to make this easy for these people. But I sit down after being invited in because they finally realised that I wasn't a piece of the wall, or a chair. And I sit down, and immediately cover my arms, these people cant know about my nervous tendencies they'd lock me up in a mental home for sure! But the un-trustworthy one, she spots them somehow, and she asks about them and I just have to think of witty responses to Everything these people say, sure, I can tell them the facts and stuff, but keep the facts brief and the witty-ness to a maximum. I could tell they were getting irritated by my answers, my brief not detailed answers, but I wasn't just going to blurt out my life story to them was I?! I didn't even know them for christs sake, this counsellor of mine, she had to wait like 7 weeks for me to come round and finally start to talk to her. These people would be gone out of my life pretty soon... I would make sure they didn't want to come back and deal with a mental patient like me. I hated the looks of pity I got! Why pity me? This could be you in a few years fattie! You might turn into me, then maybe you'll understand... Everything is so screwed up, but thanks for letting me make an account of what happened, I'm sorry I haven't been making daily posts right now, but there's a lot on my mind, -.- I love you guys though, thanks for helping me get through this, it means loads to me that even if I cant trust counsellors, I can trust some people <3