Conforming with the ideas you have.

I don't know how much longer I can take this, me not being able to be who I am to you, because you don't like it? Why should I have to pretend? To lie? To be someone I'm not just to make everyone else happy, to make You happy? I shouldn't have to force some stupid food down my throat every day because you want me to. If I don't want to, you should respect my decision, you don't have to like it, just stop trying to change me. I'm not some head-case, some special broken girl that you feel you have to fix. I'm not going to be fixed by you pushing me away every time you don't want to talk about something. Why do you think you have to change me?! I'm not anyone's to change but my own. You don't have the right to make me feel like crap every time I don't eat a piece of Kit-Kat. Who gave you that right? Because whoever did it can take it back. I don't want to fall out with you, I don't want to feel like I cant talk to you, but I Cant talk to you! You won't let me, we can't have any in depth conversations because, you don't like talking about the heavy stuff. But blocking it out isn't going to make it okay anymore, I'm getting tired of playing this game, of going along with this charade. And there's only so much longer I can hide who I am before I'm going to have to snap and just say it bluntly to you.  Stop making me resent you by resenting the choices I make, because at the end of the day, they are MY choices, not yours, and you shouldn't get to influence whether or not I stick by them, you should make your opinions heard instead of cringing away from me every time I do something you don't like, I'm having to guess around you all the time and it sucks! How am I meant to know what you want, what you feel? I'm not a mind reader! And we're going to end up hating each other, to the point we won't be able to look at each other if you don't just tell me how you feel, stop dodging the conversations, the conflicting feelings and just tell me! I'd so much prefer to know because at least then, I know where I stand with you, I know what's an okay topic to talk about and what isn't, I won't have to be brief in what I say for fear of upsetting you or making you mad from my words or the things I've done. You aren't helping anyone, and right now, its actually infuriating. That is all I have to say on this matter. Thank you for not reading this, because you weren't meant to, you don't read this blog anyway, its not what you like anymore, even though you still do, because secretly, you know you're just a big hypocrite... You cant tell me to give up my life choices because its dangerous, yet live by the same life choices yourself. Its unfair and unjust. That is all <3