I don't think I could handle more mistrust.

I've realised the only reason I get quite happy when I see people have looked at my posts is because I rarely look at anyone else's, I'm not a very good blogger, I'm not very good at anything so its like novelty when I see that someone has looked on here, I read other people's blogs but I never comment unless I feel I have something of value to contribute so I realise that's probably what everyone else does, which makes me quite gleeful when someone comments. 
 Apparently I was either enraged last night or really upset because my hip bares the mark of agony. I don't know why, but I only usually cut the left hip. For as long as I have been cutting its only ever been the left hip. I carved fat into the other one and its like I'm trying to hide that fact if I cut over it, so I can never bring myself to do it. That probably sounds weird but we all have our quirks right? This quirk of mine is no help when I'm trying to walk the day after a particularly rough night though, I look like I'm limping because I'm favouring walking on the right leg so the other one doesn't send stinging pain to my hip, I don't like looking like a pirate/cripple really. Don't get me wrong, I adore the pain its beautiful, but I wish I could even it out, damn OCD tendencies.
 So on Friday I was sat on the floor trying not to have a breakdown in college (that would have made it the 2nd time and I didn't want that) and loads of the tutors were walking past completely oblivious to me on the floor in the corner (I usually pick places that are in plain sight yet inconspicuous so I can cry if I need to) but then the head of A-levels walked past and spotted me. (We'll call her (R) for now, until I think of a more suitable name for her) She sat down on the floor with me and I was giving her all my usual answers that make people leave me the fuck alone and think I'm okay and none of them were working on her and I was sat there trying to hold off a breakdown with this lovely woman telling me that she can see through my lies and that she knows I'm not okay (SHIT) So I got a bit nervous because how the fuck did that woman know things, (not bragging or anything but when I need to be I'm a pretty convincing liar.) So (R) asked me to go to her office during tutor period after dinner so we could have a proper chat away from the cold floor and prying ears. I went there and she was so nice, it was weird, I felt...Safe? I don't really know how I felt, its confusing, but I told her some stuff and now she knows a lot and she didn't once judge me or tell me that she was going to have to tell someone else about it (Pause to let go of the breath I was holding for the whole meeting) But I went again today because my law tutor told me she wanted to see me and she wasn't there, clarity set in then, I trust people way too easily and I realised in those 40 minutes of waiting that maybe I was too quick to tell her things, I don't know if I can trust this woman, I don't know anything about her. So now I'm panicking and I'm sorry if that doesn't really make sense and there's a whole lot of comma's where fullstops should be and its not very well written but this is my train of thought at the moment so welcome aboard. I really hope this woman doesn't prove to me that I cant trust her, I don't think I could deal with another bout of mistrust in my life, I'd probably just give up altogether. Bye my Angels <3