Saturday, 18 August 2012

I NEED to cut.
Every fibre of my being is telling me so.
I need the release.
The rush.
I need to get away.
Escape.
It'd be so easy.
Just to pick up that blade.
Cut, cut, cut. 

But that fucking promise is stopping me!
WHY do I promise these things?!
I don't know what to do.
I'm freaking out.
Everything is piling on top of me.
Its all too much. 

I was given an ultimatum today, 'stop helping people, or lose me.'
I chose to lose him.
I cant give up helping people, how dare he suggest it!
I cant help people right now though.
I don't even care about them.
I want to die.
I want to die.
I want to die.
I want to die.
Everything is so unclean, out of order.
The voices call to me
'Cut' they say, 'lose control' they say
'Join us once again' they say.

I cant stay strong, don't know what to do.
Lost. So lost.
It hurts.
I'm trapped, no escape.
No turning back.
Help Me. 

5 comments:

  1. I'm really hoping you didn't cut after writing this. I know how easy it is to be sucked into it. Please try and stay strong xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Stay strong. Please. You can do it. I believe in you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Pretty girlie x

    I cant tell you not to cut because like me and b/p'in my bf tells me not too but im so stressed or upset thats all i can think about doing.

    Let us know your ok wont you, much love x

    ReplyDelete
  4. im sorry i dont comment anymore
    i hope u manage not to cut
    im a hypocrite to say dont
    i know how much the feeling consumes u to
    :(
    much love
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Stay strong. You'll feel so much better tomorrow knowing you resisted than you will if you give in. But I'm such a hypocrite telling you that, so I won't judge you at all if you gave in. I've stopped trying, so the fact you're trying to resist shows how much stronger than me you are.
    I hope you're okay and that you're feeling better now.
    Take care.

    ReplyDelete