I didn't like them, but that didn't matter...

Well. Last night was...Interesting. I went to this party, and there were only 3 girls there, me included in that 3. I only really talked to one of the other girls (because she's my best friend) and there were around 12 lads, non that I'm particularly interested in. I figured it was going to be a really boring party, because at the start it was really awkward because no one was particularly drunk and there wasn't much to do, but then after about half an hour everyone was drunk and it got better. Even though I didn't like any of them, I still managed to find 4 people to get off with. (one being my best friend -.- but that was to be expected, we really shouldn't be left to our own devices whilst drunk, we're just a bit too...Loving) But yeah, one of the people had a girlfriend (oops, I really don't give a crap) and the other two lads decided that because I'd gotten off with them we were possibly going to go out. HAH. Can you imagine that? Me, actually going out with someone xD ? Its such a weird thought, these people don't know me at all, I mean, really, I was having a bit of harmless fun, they were ready to bring out the relationship card. It makes me cringe a little bit knowing how careless I am at parties, when I'm drunk. I wasn't really whore'ish before my holiday last year, but I guess something in my head changed and decided that because I was made to be a whore there, I have to be everywhere, I don't particularly like myself for it, but if I'm expected to be a whore, then I guess, I just give people what they want, what they expect of me... I'm not making much sense and I apologise, I think my brains still sort of in drunken mode, I wish there was someone to really talk to about that night that screwed me up, I mean, me and (Fire) have touched on it a bit every now and again, but apparently she's not qualified to talk about it and give proper advice, I don't think she really wants to hear about it, I think it scares her a bit...I'm not sure, but she always tenses up when we start to talk about it, and her head gets that little worry line in it. So that basically means I have no one to talk to about it, and I'm left to try and figure out how and why it screwed me over so monumentally, and I don't know what I'm talking about at all when it comes to this kind of advice, I cant give myself advice, I can give other people great advice till the cows come home, but not myself, I don't listen to myself...Anyway, I'm going to go and do something else now, bye my Angels <3