Where has my will to live gone?

So, school officially ended for Easter today, and guess what I'm doing? Revision. Yep, that's right, my days for the next few months are just a whole load of revision, they same to make time for a social life, but that's impossible, this heat is killing me, I literally feel like I could die easily at this point in time, its so hard to act cheery and happy to everyone when all I want to do is pass out... I am trying though, can't let any of them see that I'm losing it again. Can't let anyone know that the voices have returned, can't let people see the tell tale signs of cutting returning to my persona... I'm so exhausted, but there's so much to do, I'm going to have to find the energy to do it all from somewhere. Thankfully in times like these, I have my mothers liquor cabinet at my disposal. That'll give me energy, and probably the will to carry on, best get too it then, goodbye my lovely people, (PS) does anyone know a good website to buy a red beaded bracelet from? I'm having trouble finding a nice looking one so any help would be much appreciated :3 thank you! <3