Forever My Secret.

So my friend asked me last night at some ridiculous time like 3am (I suppose technically that's this morning) why I wouldn't give up Ana, it was a reasonable enough question and being in the sleepy state I was I think I answered with something like 'I couldn't if I wanted to.' Hey, what can I say, the cow woke me up from my hours sleep a night, to ask me something that could've waited until the morning...I wasn't going to co-operate with her (:L) But apparently my brain wasn't satisfied with my answer either, so whilst staring at me ceiling (the only thing to do when one cannot sleep) it decided to make me daydream about Ana...It was so weird, Ana wasn't just a red ribbon in my head, writing out all these things to me and causing me the stabbing pain that always comes with talking to her, no, Ana was a mixture of everyone I've ever adored for their weight. She was beautiful. You'd think that a mixture of people wouldn't go together, that they'd be like a really bad version of Frankenstein or something...But I can honestly say she was beautiful. When I say she was a mixture of people, I don't actually mean like Frankenstein, I mean like she was a mirage, she kept shimmering and being different people, she was So thin though, in all of them. That daydream made me realise why I couldn't leave now. I still have so much work to do, so much fat that I need to get rid of, and I Will get rid of it. I'm more determined than ever now, maybe that was Ana's plan all along, who knows, all I know is, I Will be like those people, I Will be like Ana. Its such a lovely day for not eating, Don't you think? <3