This isn't what I want to be...

Tinkerbell told Pan of that feeling between sleep and awake, the place where she'd always love him... I feel like I've been living in that place for days. The place where nothing seems quite real, I even did my little quirks that I'd have done if I was still with Them. I painted one nail yellow, I made sure I found the Rolling Pin (It didn't help, because I still lost it) and I had to fight back the urge to say Meow. It was our little catchphrase thing, and I never told them what it meant... They had Their own ideas about it, but I never told them what it meant to Me. I've been going through the day as if it were a normal day with Them. Forgetting that They no longer want you doing silly things like linking Their arms or saying little words like 'Meow' I miss Them. I miss being friends with them, and being Really friends, not just acting, I'm lousy at acting when my hearts not in it, and not even my head was in it today, I just wanted to scream, if it meant I could be back friends with Them, I'd take it all back, I'd try and be what They wanted me to be. I'd try and make myself feel those things that They wanted me so desperately to feel, just as long as I got to stay best friends. I don't know what I'll do without Them, They... They kept me going through the hard times, they helped me see that I wasn't worthless when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and die somewhere hidden where no one would find me for years. And now, I'm just a cutting mess who cant keep it together -.- I'm sorry for whining again guys <3