Nothing comes from Nothing.

Today, was a down day. On a scale of 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being fantabulous... I was a 2-3. I couldn't focus in English, and I really need to pass this part of English, or I fail at life. I was drinking in school with my friend, Lets call her ~N~ She was there for me when I thought no one else was, when I thought my other friend (lets call her Natalie) was never going to forgive me, she made me smile again when I thought I was forever going to live in the darkness that had shrouded me... And I'm thankful for that. For showing me the way out of my half filled in hole. But when I'm on a down day, she's a bad influence, but the worst thing is, even though I know its Bad to drink in school, I didn't care, because I was escaping, so what the hell eh? I actually faked and illness half way through German just to get out of the lesson so I could go and get the drink from ~N~ (Who is a different person to Natalie Btw) And then I broke down in the bathroom, whilst drinking. My body had been trying to make me cry all day, in English because I didn't understand the work, in German because I'm crap at it, and the teacher made me feel dumb and worthless just shooting down my points, in Biology, just because. And I finally broke down, in a filthy bathroom, classy, right? (I have noticed there are a lot of ,'s on tonight's post, but whatever) I don't even know why I broke down, I just did. But then a year manager came and I had to get up, hide the drink, wipe away the tears and act all fine. Again. I'm sick of acting! People ask why I don't do drama, but its because my whole life is like a play, I am Never myself, I always have to put on an act, and there's no way around the acting, not if I want to stay out of a psych ward anyway... So, in short, today was crappy, I have no clue why, and I hate acting :') I'm sure someone out there can relate, if not, wow, I'm alone -.- <3