Why do you like to confuse me so?

Hey guys, sorry I haven't bored your ears off with my words for a while but I've had some things I needed to sort out, and since I failed doing that mentally, I've decided I may as well tell you guys and see what you think, maybe take your advice on the matters at hand, who knows what I'll get from this but I may as well try. SO there's this guy. I know, the star of every teenage girls dilemma's, but he isn't the star of mine, he's like, a sideline issue that I'm really trying to figure out. I hadn't seen him in ages and he was almost out of my head, I had almost decided that there was nothing between us and that I didn't want him and he didn't want me. Then I went and met him the other day with my friend (who does like him) to like, strengthen my resolve and make it known to my brain that I didn't want him, to prove to myself that we could be friends but that's all that would go on. And it was going okay, I was trying to push my friend and this guy towards each other because they have so much in common and I was sure that he liked her as much as she liked him...But he didn't want to go to her, and there was where my issue started. I went out at like 6 yesterday which is any of you live in the Northwest of England you can understand me when I say it was fucking freezing. Freezing fog, icicled toes the whole kit and caboodle and I was having so much difficulty keeping warm because I have a naturally low body temperature anyway so when it gets cold I get really cold. So he hugged me because he's like a frigging radiator, and then my friend got jealous so every time he would hug me to stop me from passing out from the cold she'd push me out of the way so she could hug him (even though she had on 3 jackets and could clearly see I was dying from cold) and it wouldn't have bothered me as much, if I was doing something wrong. But I wasn't I was trying to let them have their moments and keep warm at the same time, However, saying that, I usually don't hug people at all because I think that there is too much commitment behind them but...I didn't mind it at all. That sounds like nothing but I'm a germ freak and I hate high-fiving or anything that involves being close to people, so for me to stand there and hug someone is a pretty big deal, I can hug my best friends, because they're also clean freaks and I know that they will be clean. But people I don't know will be clean I don't usually touch. And then I'd given my friend my gloves because she was complaining about her hands so he put my hands under his top to keep them warm and I was like, 'oh, okay, whatever, this is cool ~X~ don't freak out because you're touching someone's skin and you don't know whether its germy or not, just stay calm' But then my friend got jealous again, and this time I wasn't moving, so I shifted my hands to his back so I could hug him and sort of clawed him in the process, which I kind of already knew was one of his... Achilles heels shall we say and then he got all weird with me, he hadn't been all touchy feely with me for a long time but he was and he like, pulled me closer and the hand was moving down my back and he was using my turn on spots and it wasn't fair at all and at one point I was certain there would be kissing, had my friend not tried to get in on the hug at that second and ruined it. Now I'm confused as I was really certain he hated me and I know that doesn't sound like anything because I was not good at describing it and I was also trying to make it sound less like something than it actually was so that you'd tell me to stop being silly and forget about him but I don't know, I hate being confused and today for example, he was trying to get me to tell him that I liked him and I was like 'why would you want me to tell you this if you don't like me, is it some sick little game, who can embarrass me the most?!' I don't know what to do and messing with my brain when I haven't been able to talk to anyone for almost a month about things that are bothering me is tough, because once again the college counsellor didn't turn up and (Fire) was really ill, so now I'm dying on the inside because everything seems to happen on weeks that I cant talk to people and I may have a guy chasing me that one of my best friends is chasing...HOW CAN I BE THIS MUCH OF A SCREW UP WHEN I WASN'T TRYING?! I could've understood if I was trying to get him, but I wasn't, yes I was flirting but I flirt with everyone and if that's the reason then its my own silly fault (-.-) Sorry, you probably didn't understand a word of that but I needed to get it off my chest and written down somewhere, it had to be said. I need to get away from the world for a while, but I don't have the means to do it, crycry. So yeah. Bye my Angels <3