Classic middle child characteristics.

I'm sorry, I seem to be having trouble staying consistent lately don't I. I am trying to get to you as often as I can but everything has been hectic what with Christmas occurring and having a split up as fuck family I have about 50 different houses to visit because none of them will come together to make it more convenient for me and 3 days in which to visit them all, tricky. Not impossible, but exhausting as fuck. I've given myself a 3 day family limit because I have mountains of work to do for college for the exams and coursework I have when I go back, and I don't mean the 12 year old version of mountains I mean the 'shit where did all this work come from that is piled up as high as my bed' kind of mountain. Its times like these I wonder why I picked the hard A-Levels and not something easy(er) like health and social. No, I had to be the classic example of the middle kid trying to live up to their older sibling and pick the subjects I knew would be difficult and have loads of work that actually doesn't physically fit into the hours of the day I have after coming home from college. My mother had her day of calm and now she'll be stressed and angry again for the entire year, I hate it, she gets worse every year and I have to put up with it. I have to sit there, manoeuvre my little sister out of the room and take all of mother's yelling because no one else is strong enough to. Thing is, I'm not strong enough either, I'm just fucking good at acting (which you wouldn't believe if you knew me in person because I'm petrified of doing things like acting or singing or dancing in front of people, counsellor number 3 said it was because I had some anxiety issues and was afraid of what people thought of me---Tends to happen when you get put down and only called bad things all your life by your family, doesn't it?) I have so much food its scary. And my birthday isn't far off, about 2 and a half weeks away, so I'll get more then, I'm surprised no one in my house has heard me purging yet, because that's all I've been doing, eating everything and purging it all. I swear I've gained like 10 stone in the space of 2 days its unfair. I hate looking like a kangaroo with a fucking pouch in a place that should be concave. I told my mother I have a history of diabetes in my dads side of the family (total bullshit of course) so I have to be careful and do regular exercise, I adore how easily I can come up with excuses to do anything I want to, its perfect. I have to go anyway, I want a bath to help me relax before another busy day comes. Bye my Angels <3