I hope they do, its about time I let her out to play.

So today I realised (with some unintentional help from (Fire)) that in order for me to lose so much more weight, I need to stop relying more on the mia side of things and incorporate ana equally. I have to admit, I find that purging is so much easier to do in my situation because of my controlling mother who insists I eat with her at mealtimes at least once a day, it just makes it difficult to restrict. I'm sure I could do it if I applied myself but...Sometimes its just better to take the easy way out. But I cant do that anymore, I can purge a stupid amount of times in the day to the point my nose will bleed and I'm losing no weight. I guess its more difficult since I'm not even allowed out to do something stupid like walking the dog in the winter because my mother doesn't like me in the cold. I think she thinks I'm stupid or something and don't understand the concept of 'wrapping up warm' I think putting a jumper on and like, a scarf will make it perfectly acceptable for me to go out and not get a cold chest. The only thing I can do in winter is eat. Eat and purge, and do like, exercises I'm able to do in the house, but they don't work as well anymore. I think my body's changed to compensate for the purging and forgotten that I wanted to lose weight from it. I am not looking forward with my meeting with the 'Young peoples mental heath team' on tuesday, practically being dragged there by the skin of my teeth. I hate how people control my life. I hate it. Why do they now try to take away the only control I have over myself? Why do they want to take away my cutting, my purging, my restricting, my life now?! Oh yeah, because I'm a 'risk to myself' LIES! They just want to take away the little control over my life. They want to kill me. Well, here's a shock, I DON'T CARE IF I DIE. Bring it on idiots. I can probably dish out twice as much as you can, nastier and more cutting. You haven't seen the bad side of me yet, but if you want to, just TRY and take every ounce of control I have over myself and I might have to let out my bitch. Then you'll be sorry. I really hope they try, she hasn't been out in such a long time, she loves being allowed out of her cage, she's hard to put back in but she works so well for what she does. Oh I do hope I can let her out soon. Anyway. Bye my Angels <3