I Lost It. That shred of control I was holding onto, that one where I could hold out until tuesday, it left. I thought I could manage, I thought I could beat this. I thought wrong. I don't have anything to hold onto now, but that's okay, who needs sanity when I have my blades? I wanted to make it, not just to prove to myself I could do it, but to prove to (Fire) I could too. I don't want to be a waste of time anymore, but there's nothing I can do, because there's no way I can possibly be what everybody wants me to be. I'm crumbling, there's just one thread left now, one thing left to hold onto, that part of me that wants to help people. That, is the only thing left of me. And that is the one thing I can hold onto, the one thing that will keep me tethered to the ground, to my shred of ~X~
I'm sorry I let you all down. I don't deserve you or your support.
I don't deserve help.
I'm Sorry.
You haven't let us down and of course you deserve support! You did so well to make it as far as you did and that is what matters! So you messed up, but there's nothing you can do about that now, it's done. Just focus in starting again and keeping it up longer next time and I'm sure you will be able to do it :) and just keep being you :)
ReplyDeleteLottie x
You haven't let anyone down darling, you've done incredibly well. Everyone here is behind your decision to try and stop cutting. You don't even know me but you have my full support. Stay strong beautiful. Stay Strong xxx
ReplyDeleteBabe, you do have the strength in you. I know it seems impossible, but I've been clean for 2 years now, so it can happen. There are other ways to get around those feelings of hopelessness, when you feel like there's not any other way to feel better. Maybe find someone that you can call or text next time you feel that way? Hope you feel better hon <3
ReplyDeleteYes you do! You did great. I think you should slowly ease out of cutting. I know it sounds crazy but from what I hear cutting is apart of you. I think it is better than quitting cold turkey.
ReplyDeleteYou tired very hard so do not be disappointed in yourself. I would say start out with only cutting once a week if possible and then make it less and less over time.