What a plain sentence, what a normal everyday thing to say. What a loaded phrase. My Mothers birthday is hard work. She expects to be kept happy at every second of the day, to have everything perfect and right and good and naturally, who does this for her? Not my Brother or Sister, or even her Boyfriend. No, its Me. But I'm sure you guessed that, right? I'm so tired and its only sometime around half 5. Because of my days off at the weekend, I was right about being backlogged...I feel like this is my full-time job at times, I spent the whole of my break and lunchtime talking on the phone to people who I haven't spoken to all weekend and trying to sort them out and get them in the right frame of mind for talking and not killing themselves. It was hard work, I enjoy helping people, I enjoy the end result of the work that I can do, but the middle part where there's no helping them, there's nothing you can do until they accept that they need the help, that's the draining part. I have so much more to do, but I just cant stay awake, I don't know what I'm going to do about it, there's vodka downstairs, that has been what's keeping me awake all weekend, it took the edge of my worried-ness for my friends...It was literally a friday night-sunday night drinking fest. And then naturally I had a shot or two before school this morning, just to keep myself...Alive.
I think my friend (E) is pissed off with me, its just a gut instinct, but... I didn't have the time to stay with her all breaks today, or any breaks, because I had things to do, so I think she's mad because I'm spending all my time helping everyone else and not focusing on the fact that I'm leaving school soon and that there is a small portion of a chance that we won't see each other. And I am aware of this, and I'm sorry I don't pay a lot of attention to her during the day, but I can't do everything, I can try, but I cant succeed. Yet. Eugh, I have to go, just thought I'd keep you updated my darlings, have nice nights <3
Jesus you sound busy as hell. Happy b-day to your mom. My mom use to be like that until she got older then it didn't matter because me and my sister was barely around.
ReplyDeleteSorry for you friend E. She must really like talking to you and being around you for her to get upset like that. I was like a puppy when it came to getting friends in highschool and some time afterwards. Thank god I am not like that anymore.
Hopefully you will get to relax soon. Keep up the good fight.