I won't hold my breath waiting for you -.-

I didn't trust this person. I HATED him, he was so blunt and made it pretty obvious that he didn't give a shit about me or anything that could be wrong with me, and that he thought I was lying about everything. I got that from just one look at him. "So Aprilynne, how regular are your periods?" "Um..." Blunt Much? There were like 5 other people in the room, including my regular counsellor, and all these blunt, personal questions were being thrown at me... I was like Dude WTF? And the room! Gosh, I swear it was designed to make a sane person crazy, it was all messy and slanted and all the books were in the wrong order and eugh, I felt Wrong being there. And of course, I'm a fucking neat freak when I get nervous/angry/upset/any unpleasant emotion like that so that room was like torture... And I think these people picked up on it, they saw my shifty looks when my eyes were darting around looking for all the imperfections in the room, I think they thought I was getting nervous because they were touching on subjects I didn't like to talk about... Idiots. And then came the worst questions of all, the rapid fire ones, the ones done to try and trick me from my story, to try and make me slip up... "Have you ever been raped?" "Have you ever cut yourself?" "Have you ever wanted to kill yourself?" "What about friends, do you have any?" "Do your friends know about these thoughts?" I swear, they thought I was really going to tell this Dr. Huda person Everything. I was sat there coming up with these witty replies to what he was saying... "Do you know he mindset of someone with an eating disorder?" "I suspect they're quite content with the goal they're trying to reach... Do You know the mindset of someone with an eating disorder?" "Lets not make this about me now..." "Why not? I was sure this was a fucking social call when I agreed to it." "Aprilynne, do you think you have an eating disorder?" "Does it matter what I think really? You've already wrote in that lovely file of mine that you feel I do..." "I do think you have an eating disorder Aprilynne..." NO SHIT! Fuck, its taken them 11 people and a year to decide I have a problem with my eating, If I decided I was going to kill myself I may as well just hold my breath waiting for them to figure it out -.- Its like watching monkeys trying to be intelligent... It doesn't happen. And this Jamie person! He reminded me So much of my latest home wrecking project... I almost cried, It was like a kick in the teeth. 'Oh, you think you're okay without him? Well, we'll just give you someone who looks just like him and make you see him Every week -.-' Yeah, thanks karma. Sorry, I'm going on with myself again, just thought I'd keep you updated, Well, we finished for the winter break today and I'm irritated because that means I'll be off forever and people will be watching my eating :L I'm going to become a fat whore -.- Help me stay strong guys?! <3