I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm just going through the motions at home (I have a fucking amazing poker-face now, not a single person ever asks me if there's anything up, well except my friend *L. He does it more out of habit though) My mother never talks about my 'little issues' anymore, because she thinks they were just a phase, and that I've kicked it. She still brings up the whole 'You almost ruined this family, it was all your fault always' crap. But I'm used to that, I can deal with the yelling's I get over that, I don't like the ones she gives me over who I'm friends with, like its her choice or something. They suck. But to her credit, last week when she was yelling at my brother with my little sister and I in the room, I yelled at her and told her to stop being such a monster because she's ruining the perfect image my little sister has of her, she hasn't yelled once since. (If you knew my mother, you'd know this was serious progress. That bitch needs to yell at someone every day, she's controlling as fuck like that. My sister's dad has left for Ireland now, she's devastated. I don't know what to do or say around her though, because even though I've gone through the whole 'dad leaving for another country thing' it was different with me, I mean, sure, I still adored him, he was my papa. But I never saw him really...Whereas my sister see's her every other weekend and it used to be a lot more in holidays, so I don't know how to talk to her, I never really felt her pain because mine wasn't around in the first place... She'll get over it I'm sure, but until then, I have to deal with her yelling at me constantly.
I'm cat sitting again this week on tuesday and wednesday. That poor cat, I think I'll learn to speak cyprus-ese (don't hate me, I don't know what its called) so we can have conversations. Why did my nan have to take in a foreign stray -.- ?!
I still have my revision planner on the wall, like if I take it off, its all over. (Or, I've just not had a day where I could be bothered or wasn't too intoxicated to actually tear it down...) I'm glad they're over, but I don't know what I'll do next year now, they took politics off of the list of things I could do, and that was one of the ones I wanted to do, so that sucks. I'll find another substitute, somewhere. I just don't know what it'll be...I love history, but I don't know whether I'd want to do it again, I probably would, its fascinating, but whatever. History it is. That wasn't so hard xD Right, its come to the time where my thoughts are no longer coherent. I'ma leave now, goodbye my Angels <3
Wow that is kind of messed how she said you almost ruined the family. It's not like you did it on purpose or anything like that.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you told her about her yelling. My mom was like that but sadly she didn't realize she was yelling. She has since not yelled and even jokes with me and my sister now. It's really strange because we are still not use to her joking.
I hope the rest of your day goes by peacefully though.