Tears slowly form, and run down my pain.

Nope, that wasn't a spelling mistake, that was genuinely what happened... I, Me, This emotionless soul, was crying last night, for the first time in months. Not the little bitty one or two tears that occasionally form when I'm really pissed off or the ones I get when my allergies spike up or the winds been beating me when I was walking to school...No. These were big fat not stopping tears. And then I did something I didn't think I'd ever do again, I cut. Not a big amount, not even a big line, but it was deep enough, I opened up and old scar, opened up an old wound...And I just kept driving the blade into the same line...It didn't even hurt, and from that first instant, I had mental clarity. I had forgotten why I used to do it so much...The numbness didn't scare me, I enjoyed it, the clarity that I hadn't had in such a long time, it was bliss. I know I shouldn't have done it, I know it was wrong and hypocritical since I tell my friend to stop doing it constantly, but I'm more sensible than she is, she does it for attention and just for the sake of it. I forgot how much I adored the icy blade swiping over my skin, the sigh my body makes as the skin parts from its set structure, the metal tasting blood that gives me such a buzz, I adore it all. You can pretty much guarantee this is my new outlet, well old outlet, but my recently rediscovered outlet. Having a happy leap day everyone? Anything exciting happen? Let me know :3 <3