Burnt lungs, Sour taste...

So some of you that have read my other blog will know that a lot of my posts' titles relate to the music I'm listening to at the moment, but this lyric was particularly accurate because at the moment all of the food I used to adore makes me feel sick looking at it now, and if I have to eat it everything tastes sour and terrible, its like choking down soluble tablets that are the size of your fist, it doesn't want to happen! Mother says I cannot see my best friend anymore until I have been psycho analysed and seen to be stable enough to go out alone. What an idiot, doesn't she know that I'm just going to lie to the psychiatrist and make myself seem normal again so I can see her, does she really think I'm stupid and would want to blurt all my problems out to someone who's getting paid to secretly judge me, Not A Chance. Her favourite line for me at the moment is "its for your own good" trying to take Ana and my friends and any self respect I have away from me is not for my own good at all, mothers eh? They think they know what's going on in your head because they gave birth to you, but really that have no clue unless you're one of those totally honest and open people with your mother, in which case, good on you... I have already planned out what this psychiatrist will say to me anyway, it will start with the general how are you today? and how does this emotion make you feel, and then it will go onto what bought you and Ana together, and what are foods that you class as safe. Its always the same, and from last weeks mess with school counsellors and people trying to help me cope and shit like that, I have a pretty good idea about what he is going to say to me. I suppose if I am feeling particularly bitchy with my mother for taking me to this person I could blame all my problems on her, because she is basically the cause of all my problems, her and her incessant yelling and down grading me and telling me just how worthless I am. Its enough to drive anyone over the edge really... So yeah, I shall let you know how that goes of course because you lot are the only people that I can relate to and be completely honest and open with, if it wasn't for this blogging I would have broken down ages ago! Please my lovelys, don't Ever start crying on your teachers, because that is what started all of this off, and I don't want you to have to go through any of this... Blessed be :) <3