I enjoy having a goal other than Ace-ing my degree.

Pretty impressed with myself, smoked weed with my friend (T) this morning at like 6am and didn't give-in to the munchies. My claim to fame right there. Me and (T) have lived in the same uni block of flats as each other for the 6 months we've been living here, and yet hadn't had a decent conversation until 5:30 this morning, and now we're friends, bonded over weird conversation topics and weed. I have eaten just under 500 calories in 4 days, and a lot of the calories were the masses of black coffee I'm drinking lately, I'm not sure whether its really fucking wrong to feel happy about this, or take it as a good thing because it means I'm not pigging out. I feel a lot better in myself now I've started doing regular exercise again, I had forgotten I had muscles I'd done nothing for so long. I've decided I want to get thinner so my thighs get smaller and I can finally get my next tattoo done there. It'll look weird if I get it done on fat thighs. I like having a goal again, having something else to work towards instead of just my degree. I felt like the degree I am doing was my identity, like that was all I was, now I feel like there's more to me than just that one tiny aspect of my life if that makes sense? The counsellor at my University told me she wants me to stop cutting, she doesn't think its healthy for me, thinks its an unsavoury habit that I need to quit, maybe she's right, but she has yet to give me a new coping strategy that effectively relieves me of stress as well as cutting. And trust me, I have tried every one she has given me, extensively, with no luck. Does she expect me to give up my key to sanity without a back up key in place? I might be dumb, but that's a whole other level of dumb that's not even visible from my level. I got my new book on serial killers through the post the other day and it is as funny as I hoped, some of the justifications these guys give would be commonly seen as hilarious in any other circumstance. For example "the only thing I'm really guilty of is running a graveyard without a license." This is my personal favourite. Don't ask me why, I just picture some really sassy guy saying it in a deadpan, matter-of-fact voice. I have been awake for 3 days straight and I'm mega tired so maybe its making that funnier than it actually is, who knows. Bye my Angels <3