Mandatory doctors appointment.

My counsellor told me it was time to see a doctor, and I'd been putting it off for so long just telling her I forgot or that I needed more time to think about it, so she was kind enough to book me an appointment and tell me it was mandatory that I turned up because she knew where I lived so she'd come and get me for it if she had to. 11am today I was in that doctors office telling this lady that I was there because my counsellor told me she was concerned about my issues, including but not limited to; 'severe depression, severe anxiety, dermatillomania, self harm, OCD and eating disorder.' I hate going to the doctors about this stuff, I never know what to say to them, they always want answers to stupid questions that I'd never even thought about and then they get annoyed when I say I don't know the answer, they talk to me like I'm going to break and they expect me to want to be forthcoming with my answers even though I was forced there against my will. She booked me in for a blood test for tomorrow and I'm so not happy about that because I hate needles and I hate blood tests so much, I'm petrified of the whole process and I cry and scream and swear and occasionally kick out and she didn't even listen to my concerns about it, she just said it had to be done and I was getting it done and that was that. She was a lovely woman, don't get me wrong, didn't even pull a brief look of disgust or worry when she saw my questionnaire results, I appreciated that, but I'm pretty sure the blood test is a waste of time, because I'm completely fine, I don't feel like I'm deficient in anything essential (though she would argue food was essential) so what is the point in me getting my blood drawn when its just going to say I'm fine. She also said she was wary about giving me pills because my depression was real bad and I have "impulse control issues" (she means my purging, but what she doesn't understand is that me not eating for 5+ days is really good impulse control, I have no issues with that at all) so I might overdose and try and kill myself, silly idea really, I don't want to kill myself, I just want to be a decent, pretty weight, yes I hate myself and yes I am really fucking low, but I don't want to kill myself, she didn't listen to that either. The next few weeks are full of doctors and counsellor appointments and I swear I don't have time to breathe and do my work in between them. I'm shocked that my counsellor is such a persistent woman really, she seems so sweet and lovely, not like the kind of person that books you a doctors appointment and gives you the ultimatum of you go willingly, you go with her taking you, or you go to hospital, I guess looks really can be deceiving.
 We have room inspections in 15 days, so between all of these appointments and assignments and lectures and seminars and sleep I have to find the energy and time to clean my room, which at the moment resembles a very organised version of chaos. Its how I imagine my mind looks actually, but I don't think the inspectors will appreciate the chaos part of it, no matter how organised I find it is. The only problem is, I'm mega tired, like always, so the effort it will take to clean this is an extreme amount that I don't know if I'll ever have. Bye my Angels <3