My diet of black coffee and cigarettes.

I've consumed under 100 calories in total in the past three days (most from my black coffee addiction) and I am 100% certain that I have worked them all off just by running up the 4 flights of stairs to get to my flat after I've gone for a cig. I'm resisting the urge to binge something wicked because I know that there's a high chance that at least one of my 9 flatmates would hear me purging said binge and question it. There's a can of soup sitting on my desk staring at me like it has been doing the past three days but I'm refusing it. I don't want it and I don't need it, I'm quite content with my diet of black coffee and cigarettes. Feel hungry? Coffee. Still feel hungry? Cigarette. That is my logic now a days, and it works every time, I never feel hungry after those two things, sometimes I only need them separately, sometimes together, but its a foolproof system. I don't know whether my ED has changed to accommodate this or whether this is my new diet because my ED has changed, but I imagine its one or the other, I don't even know if an ED can change but this doesn't feel like my old one, my old one wouldn't have been content not eating, I'd have had to binge/purge, this one seems quite happy that I don't eat, but still demands I throw up or work it off if I do eat, so, you tell me what's going on there. 
 I lied to my counsellor. She called me yesterday to see if I was okay (on that warden's request to move forward my appointment) and I lied to her and told her I was fine and my eating was fine and I didn't know what the warden was talking about (That warden comes back on shift on Friday night so I'm going to get in shit for that I bet). I could have just as easily told her the truth if I'd have wanted to, but I know what she'd have said, what she'd have wanted from me, and "recovery" from this weight would mean I would be morbidly obese instead of just obese. "Recovery" would be far worse for me than my current eating ever could be. She wouldn't understand that though, she'd insist it, and I'm not down for being told what to do. 
 I finally slept last night, after 4 nights of not being able to sleep at all I finally managed a decent nights sleep from like 9pm until 8am, which was good because I managed to avoid the warden downstairs who constantly asks what I've eaten that day and comments on my weight and occasionally comes to inspect my room or the bins in the kitchen to see if the empty packets of what I claimed to eat are in there (jokes on him, I check first to see what the other girls in my flat have eaten and stuck the packets of in the bin, idiot). I know tonight he's going to do all of the aforementioned things simply because I avoided him last night, but I mean, its not my fault my body finally chose to sleep all night...
 My skin is loving this new 'don't eat crap' thing I'm doing, its getting so clear and lovely and I actually don't mind walking around without concealer on any more because though its fat, my face doesn't look like I've been stung by hornets everyday now. Its great, I used to be so conscious of it and how bad it looked, but now its doing so well and likes me and I don't need to keep spending my money on ridiculously expensive products to get rid of the acne because its just going on its own because I've cut out all the crap I used to eat. 
 Anyway, on that note, its time for coffee. Bye my Angels. <3