Relief instead of sadness.

I fell out with one of my oldest friends, again. It had been bound to happen for ages now. We don't go to the same college, we don't like the same things, we stand for different things, there was just nothing holding us together apart from the fact we were friends in school. I tried so hard to try and keep the friendship working, I paid so much attention to everything she had to say and asked questions about anything she wanted to talk about, I tried to meet up with her as much as I could (Which was difficult as hell because, 1, my mother hated her and forbade me from seeing her. And 2, she was always busy with her other friends) I felt like the friendship was very one-sided. I mean, I know what I'm saying sounds one-sided as well and I'm sure I probably did things wrong also but it didn't feel, to me, that she was giving me the same respect that I gave her. If she had to choose between me and the person she likes it would always be him, which sucks because I was with her through everything and I thought I deserved a certain level of consistency, she shouldn't just drop me every time she got an invite out with this guy. Maybe that's where I went wrong, I expected her to want to be around me. I wish I cared more about the fact I lost one of my oldest friends, wish I felt something more than relief but I don't, I  guess time isn't the thing that makes a person your best friend. Time doesn't measure how good they are to you. When you feel relief like this over losing a friend, you know there was something drastically wrong with the friendship though. The house sitting officially started today, I have until Monday on my own in my nan's house. I'm excited to see how I react to being on my own but I'm also a little nervous, what if I forget to do something as basic as locking the door? Well, I can only see how goes I guess. Its kind of boring being alone in a house, the cats fucked off and left me, my music can only entertain me so much and there's nothing on TV, I don't know what I'm going to do tonight if I cant even entertain myself throughout the day. Bye my Angels <3