I have never, but I understand.

I hate those people on twitter that are all 'I have never self harmed, but I can understand it.' No. No you cant. You cant possibly understand it, you have never been in that position. That's like saying you understand what its like to make the decision to turn off a life-support machine or that you understand what its like burying your child. They don't understand. How could they? They think self-harmers are all silly, attention seeking people who are 'a little sad.' It makes me so mad when 'twitter famous' people make all these articles about how they understand self harm completely and how they don't judge and can help. I'd love to know how they could help if they don't even fully understand the depth to self harming. People have been irritating me a lot more lately, they all think they know me, all think they understand everything about me and what I do. They don't. They know what I've allowed them to know, they don't know why I do things or the logic behind what I do, how dare they just assume that their presumptions are right and that they can judge me on those. How many times do you have to say 'maybe you just don't know me very well' before people realise that maybe they don't know you well after all? So far I've said it about 30 times, I'll let you know when they get the message when I find out. Everything seems so final at the moment, every fall out I orchestrate seems definite, every pound I put on seems sure it will stay there forever, every scar looks permanent, I like the certainty of finality. Hopefully it will stay this way for a while because I don't think I could deal with life going back to the uncertain, I prefer knowing what's going on all the time. Hope is such a useless thing to have, I'm going to do everything in my power to make it stay like this, at least for a while. Bye my Angels <3