Its not as simple as 'you're an alcoholic.'

My sister has been asking why mother's boyfriend drinks so much and bless her cotton socks she isn't an observant girl at all so for her to pick up on it means its more than mother is seeing. I've been noticing him hiding it from her a lot more lately, he takes it with him when he goes on walks with the dog and in the car and even in the shower. I know I should tell my mother but she's happy, she thinks he actually listened to her when she told him to stop. He's being really helpful to her as well so she won't believe me, she'll think its me making it up because I have a grudge against him or something. Plus, how do I actually tell my mother that I'm afraid to go in the car when he is driving because he is an alcoholic and probably has at least 4 drinks before we wake up in the morning? How do I tell my mother that he's making my sister think its okay to drink lots as long as its in secret? Sometimes I wish I wasn't observant, that I didn't see things others don't, that I didn't notice signs of addiction or cries for help, but I do so its a stupid wish. I'm finding comfort in singing to myself lately, I probably suck but I don't care, it helps, I can find songs that describe how I feel word for word and they just...keep me calmish. It doesn't help at night though when I'm all alone with my thoughts in the darkness, but in the daytime when I'm losing it they keep me from falling apart in college. My stomach is giving me hell today, its yelling at me for not feeding it more than 1 pot noodle in 3 days, I tell it I'm sorry and that its because of exams but I'm not. I actually have an excuse for not eating because my mother knows I get really sick around exams because I stress myself out so much, unintentionally of course. I'm living off of a liquid diet of pepsi max which amuses me so much because I look at the bottle, see the 2 calories per 500ml and still think I'm consuming too many. The day of this wedding is getting closer and closer and the more I think about it, the more I don't want to go. I know I have to because they're related to me somehow but I just don't see why I'm making all of the effort I'm going to be for family that didn't ever make the effort to see me... Yep, I'm an awful human being, I realise this. I am way too tired to make this sound coherent, I apologise. Bye my Angels <3