'You are so much better now!' Am I?

I got to 0.1 today. It was frightening. Its the lowest I've been in a good while. I only got this way because of a simple fact. Everyone was discussing their weight at college and I tend to steer clear of these talks, simply so I don't revert back to old ways, and they just kept talking about what they weighed and stuff and something in my just clicked. I realised that in year 11 my lowest weight was 5 stone lighter than what I am now. I was, at one point, 7 stone. I know that doesn't sound so low to some people but to me (and the doctor for that matter) it was low. I am now 11 stone and am Just about still in the healthy weight zone. In about 3 years, I have gone up 4 stone. Some people might call that progress, I call it a catastrophe. I was weighed the other day and the woman said to me 'ooh, I am so proud of you, soon enough we can get this 'eating disorder' taken off of your current medical conditions list. Aren't you excited? You've gained 4 stone, its brilliant!' I was sat there almost crying. I knew when I started this 'help' thing I'd have to gain a considerable amount of weight, but from the second I started really committing to it, I haven't weighed myself, not once. She completely ruined my whole resolve about actually eating. I thought doctors were supposed to know to never mention weight to people with 'eating disorder' on their medical record? Isn't that like a big rule? Surely it is. Maybe she thought I could handle it now I'm 'so much better!' she definitely thought wrong. I came home today and really really really wanted to cut, but I had nothing to use. I tried using the scalpel my friend got me the other day, but it was blunt, so it didn't really do anything. I have a whole bunch of tension and anger and splitting sadness to get rid of and I have no means of getting rid of it. I know one thing for certain. There is no way I'm eating anything for at least the next two days. I can blame my sudden loss of weight that is to come on my Uni stress. There's a lot of it. I hate myself. Anyway. No pictures tonight, I don't have the energy to find them, sorry. Bye my Angels <3