I knew I couldn't stay away.

I can't do it. Every time I try and be good, every time I try and do everything possible to aid recovery something always goes wrong. I knew I wouldn't be able to get rid of this, that's why I hadn't deleted it. Some old woman said the worst thing someone could possibly say to 'recovery X' (that part of me that wants to be better) the other day, she said "You'll ruin that child's life if you have it." Guess what? I'm NOT PREGNANT. Which essentially means that I'm fucking Huge and only an old lady had the balls to tell me because she doesn't give a shit about me. That gave the voices all of the ammunition they needed to pull me back in, they were charming about it really, encouraging me to overcome this old lady and show her what I can be. There's still a little part of 'recovery X' left in me right now so I haven't brought myself round to cutting but I will, its been so hard to not do it. It will be such a release to finally get rid of the darkness that scratches under my skin's surface. I've told everyone in my life that's trying to 'help me' that I'm getting better, I'm on the road to recovery, I forgot to mention that I slipped back down, I'm no longer walking along that high road above, its not like they Need to know that, right? Anyway, I'd leave you with some pictures but 'recovery X' thought it would be therapeutic to get rid of all the ones I had so until I get more you'll have to make do with the 200+ on my last post, I'm so glad I'm back. Bye my Angels <3