I miss doing things.

I hate summer holidays. I've been off for about a month now and I still have until September to wait to go back to college. I have nothing to do. I have no job, no proper friends, I've finished my tv programmes and the pollen count is through the roof so I cant even go walking in the hills. I couldn't deal with it when I used to have 6 weeks off in secondary school, now I have like 12 weeks off, I don't know what to do with myself. I can't even see my best friend because the lucky bitch is in Sri Lanka. I love my bed dearly but if all I have to do for the remaining 6ish weeks is to never move from it then I'm most likely going to die. I have tidied and re-tidied my room, I have sorted out my things to within an inch of their lives, even my wardrobe is in a different order than it used to be. I should probably have tried to make more friends at college, like, actual friends that don't just put up with me when they have to. I don't even have a tumblr but that's pretty much my only friend right now. That's kind of pathetic isn't it? I haven't been able to cut lately because its been so hot I've had to wear dresses so I didn't boil to death. I can feel it all though, just below my skin, trying to claw its way out or find its way to my heart and kill me. I'm going to have to get rid of it soon but with the weather being so bi-polar I don't know when I'll get round to it. I get to house sit in two weeks. I'm staying at my nan's from monday to wednesday with her because my mother and her boyfriend are swapping the living room and the dining room around and then from thursday to the following monday nans house is mine because she's going to visit her friend. I will maybe have a friend over or something because I get a tad nervous on my own at nights, I blame it on all the shows about murders and stuff I have watched over the years. Its not so much the dark that gets to me, its the little creaks houses make. Those ones that sound like people walking across the halls to get to you. I'll be shit if I ever live alone when I'm older. I think (Fire) is dead or something, well, that could be a tad too dramatic, she probably just doesn't want to talk to me any more because I haven't heard from her in weeks. I'm not complaining really, its nice to be able to think my own thoughts without having them picked apart and decided that they're all to do with my family. No, no they aren't, sometimes, I can want to die without it being because my dad is a twat. There is one bonus of not putting makeup on everyday because I'm leaving the house though, my skin is getting better. Like, I can actually see some actual skin on my face that doesn't have spots on it. Who knows, maybe I won't have to hide my face forever. I'll get new pictures for you guys soon, I haven't found many good ones lately, bare with me. Bye my Angels <3