Massive violation of my trust.

Trust isn't an easy thing for me. Its not easily given, it has to be earned, and I'm extremely quick to take away my trust if it's been betrayed. I told my friend things in confidence, sensitive things about my past, things that made me the person I am today. He practically begged me to tell him, so I trusted him. Now his whole family knows. He didn't ask if he could tell them, he took my choice about my own secrets away from me. Apparently he did it months ago, he told me about it today. And then couldn't understand why I was upset, he couldn't fathom why I couldn't just say 'okay' and move on, why I actually had emotional responses about the matter. He kept telling me that its over now, to just move on, to not cry, he expected me to be completely fine with his betrayal in a matter of minutes, and then got pissed off with me when I still felt hurt. And then, he had the audacity to tell me to just 'trust him' after he'd told me not ten minutes before, that he'd betrayed the biggest amount of trust I'd ever given anyone. 'Just trust me' HOW THE FUCK CAN I TRUST HIM NOW?! I feel violated. I feel like my life, the decisions about my life, are no longer my own, they've been ripped from me, because why would I possibly have a say in my own life, or my own life events?  I'm in so much pain, I'm the saddest I've ever been and I cannot stop crying. It probably doesn't even seem like that much of a big deal to you guys, but to me it feels like I've been ripped open. He just kept saying "I'm sorry, please forgive me, you can trust me, it'll be okay, its done now, lets get through this together" But I don't even know if I'll be able to look at him again. Its not done now for me, because I haven't had the months of knowing like he has to deal with it, I've had a few hours. And he didn't understand why a sorry meant nothing to me, why I can't just forgive him straight away, because its still causing so much pain. I just keep playing and replaying every conversation I've had with him in my head, trying to figure out if I ever could trust him, or at least if I ever should have. The worst part is, I don't hate him at all. I hate myself for trusting, I hate the pain I'm in, I hate the situation, but I cant hate him, and I really want to. I haven't cried this much in a long time, and I don't know when I'm going to be okay with this. Bye my Angels <3